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UFC High: UFC Fighters as High School Cliques (Part 1)

Overall, the MMA community is like one big high school. I know adults tell Seniors that they, “graduate” or whatever, but honestly high school never ends. The pettiness, the favoritism and the rivalries persist, and every fighter fits into one group or another, along with their fans.

Let’s start with these guys.

The Jocks

Obviously, all of these fighters are athletes, but the jock reputation is bigger than just a roster spot. Being a jock to many is defined by a certain attitude, and a certain level of privilege afforded them by the school’s students, parents and faculty. Guys like Jon Jones, Luke Rockhold, Alistair Overeem embody arrogance. Others like Vitor Belfort, Greg Hardy, Ben Askren, Matt Hughes, and Justin Gaethje have their own seeming deficiencies in intelligence and social courtesies.

Jocks can be smart, but that’s not what they are known for. More commonly they are smug, loud and frequently the center of attention. Alistair Overeem has resting jock face. Even after getting humbled time after time he maintains this disposition. You really have to hand it to the guy. He is built for this.

A post shared by Antonio Silva (@bigfootsilva) on Feb 2, 2020 at 3:34pm PST

Greg Hardy

Greg Hardy is a pretty infamous guy in the sport right now. He transferred schools after punching a girl in the face, and now he is here. Lots of fans are upset about it. Some of his fellow students are not the fondest of him either. He gets a lot of encouragement from Principal Dana but what can you do, Greg punched that girl while he was at that other school. Many support this fresh start, for many others there is no justice in sight.

Luke Rockhold

Luke Rockhold is known as smug for the things that he says and the way he carries himself. He is really handsome guys, and he’s rich, and he models for Polo Blue! Rockhold’s not the best with words but, look at that face. How could you not give this guy second and third chances to prove himself? This man dated Demi Lovato and made it on Millionaire Matchmaker.

A post shared by Luke Rockhold (@lukerockhold) on Aug 2, 2019 at 11:39am PDT

Jon Jones

Head jock is Jon Jones: possibly the greatest talent the school has ever seen. A lot of kids hate him, but lots of kids worship him too (fans and fighters). He tries to be a good guy, at least, a lot of people want to believe he tries. He has straight A’s and treats most people great. The girls get along with him. He even behaves himself in front of the teachers and Principal Dana, who hates him by the way and never tries to hide it. However, outside of school the guy is a menace. Jon has a rap sheet that is disappointing considering his talent level. He hits pregnant ladies with cars, then flees the scene. He does cocaine with cheerleaders from the other schools when his girlfriend is away. Jones also cannot stop getting caught drinking and driving.

A post shared by TMZ (@tmz_tv) on Mar 26, 2020 at 9:53am PDT

Even more damming is that Jon Jones bullies Daniel Cormier. They are rivals to the grave. At first Jon kept his dark side low key, but eventually everyone found out about it. For years Jon would call Daniel the P-word, beat him up in front of the whole school then tell everyone that he never disliked Daniel.

Willing to train OSP and is willing to pay for his expenses? You are a sheep in wolves clothing and I see right through you. pussy. — Jon Bones Jones (@JonnyBones) April 4, 2016

Coward is running from the scene of a crime without checking on person you hurt. Coward is refusing to fight Gustafson. Coward is ufc 151 — Daniel Cormier (@dc_mma) April 4, 2016

Lol you mad bro? — Jon Bones Jones (@JonnyBones) April 5, 2016

Jones you can't hurt me, u lunch like a bitch. Ur not winning decision next time. Just don't get ur dumb ass arrested again. Loser junkie — Daniel Cormier (@dc_mma) April 4, 2016

Lol we? 😂 who's we? You and your vagina? — Jon Bones Jones (@JonnyBones) April 5, 2016

According to Jon, it was all Daniel’s fault and he forced Jon to treat him that way. Clearly, Jon was the victim in both of their scuffles.

It is important to note that Daniel Cormier is no scrub, but what better way to demonstrate your alpha than humiliating the only other jock who can beat up literally everyone else in the school? Through it all Jon tries to maintain a certain image and never likes to answer questions about his life outside of school. Jon got another DWI days ago, and a lot of teachers are calling for yet another school suspension.

The Popular Girls

Ronda Rousey

A post shared by Ronda Rousey (@rondarousey) on Jan 4, 2020 at 12:08pm PST

Not quite queen of The Plastics but definitely the queen of the mean girls: the meanest, most popular girl the school has ever seen. She was the one who started it all and it ended up costing her massively in the end when she messed with the quiet choir girl Holly Holm. She tried to get the attention back, but the new badass Brazilian exchange student Amanda Nunes made quick work of her and sent her running away, never to be heard from again in that school. Ronda was the original queen of the popular girls, but as it does with most popular girls, arrogance and pride were her downfall from the top. Now, she goes to another school- some fictional wonderland called WWE Prep, where legend has it, she’s hated even more than she was when she left UFC High. Strange times.

A post shared by Ronda Rousey (@rondarousey) on Jan 22, 2019 at 2:54pm PST

Despite her reputation she managed to be the prom queen at both schools and got a new crew of mean girls to obey and submit. It’s crazy she could be so mean while simultaneously making every other girl in the school relevant. Before she left UFC High she even gave Joanna her stamp of approval. Ultimately, she suffered another meteoric fall from grace but is still an infamous legend.

Miesha Tate

The other popular girl who Ronda hated because she was slightly more attractive and a little less mean. Miesha famously dated one of the biggest nobodies at UFC High, when she dated little Bryan Caraway.

A post shared by Bryan Caraway (@bryancaraway) on Aug 18, 2016 at 11:31pm PDT

Many people would say she actually made Bryan way more popular. She probably knew it to, because she dumped Bryan, found a new fella and promptly bore him a child. In a way, it seems unfair to classify Miesha as a “mean girl,” because she’s mostly known for being a little bit nicer than Ronda. She’s also since left UFC High to become the new queen at the fast-rising ONE Academy over in Singapore.

A post shared by @meishatate on Jul 8, 2018 at 9:39pm PDT

Paige VanZant

Paige is the head cheerleader, more known for her looks than her actual skill at what she does. Make no mistake, Paige is a sweetheart, and she knows how to play that card to her advantage. All the boys in school want her, and all the girls are jealous of the attention she gets, usually because they’re far more deserving and Paige gets opportunities because of, again, her looks.

A post shared by Paige VanZant (@paigevanzant) on Mar 7, 2020 at 12:35pm PST

Even then, all she dates are the douchebags and burnouts who get weird neck tattoos. So, she’s basically like most girls. But I digress with Paige, she’s a fun and energetic personality, but it looks like she’s about to graduate from UFC High and pursue a career in either dancing or… modeling? Yeah, let’s keep it PG and call it modeling.

Rachael Ostovich

Similar to Paige, she’s the one all the guys want to get with. She gets more opportunities, even when, again, she probably shouldn’t, and her popularity comes primarily from her looks. The difference? Rachael’s a lot more provocative than her blonde counterpart. This sometimes irritates Paige and forces Paige into getting more provocative herself to draw some of the attention back to her.

A post shared by Rachael Ostovich (@rachaelostovich) on Apr 6, 2020 at 9:17pm PDT

Yes, she and Paige have a small rivalry, but they’re both such sweet girls that they still have no hard feelings when it’s all said and done. This may have something to do with the fact that they both have a budding rivalry with this new girl across town over at Bellator Middle School named Valerie Loureda, who may be more provocative and “outgoing” than either of them. Stay tuned. This development may continue to grow.

Joanna Jedrzejczyk

Originally an awkward exchange student from Poland, Joanna quickly became popular as the crazy girl who beat up some of the popular mean girls and became a school legend in her own right.

A post shared by Joanna Jedrzejczyk (@joannajedrzejczyk) on Dec 18, 2019 at 5:08am PST

Joanna doesn’t get along with a lot of the other popular girls, many of them hate her because of her attitude towards some of the exchange students; many people thought it was insanely rude of her to pick on that sweet little Chinese girl who just transferred over from Kunlun High. But Joanna is a huge legend at UFC High. She’s the European badass who’ll whip your ass if you look at her funny. It’s the reason why so many students hate her, and so many underclassmen love her. She might not wear the UFC anymore, but she’s got drip for days. She’s also grooming Valerie Loureda to take UFC High when she transfers from Bellator High School.

A post shared by Master Valerie Loureda 💋 (@valerieloureda) on Feb 11, 2020 at 11:00am PST

Catch part two coming soon! Next up: Model Students and Hoodlums! ■

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